I didn't marry for the money.

My dad always used to say to me and my sister: "Don't marry for money, just hang around rich guys until you find one you like."

I didn't listen, go figure. I married for love, how cliche of me. And now I have to work for a living to pay the bills instead of lounging by a pool by day and attending cocktail receptions with the who's-who by night.

So my hubby (who has yet to select a moniker for my blog) turned 30 this weekend. And instead of partying up with the boys or having a big surprise party at our house, he kindly came with me to the big event for a dance company that I am on the board of. It was the final performance for the production that had been 2 years in the making. And he came to support me. Even though a contemporary dance performance may not have been his first choice for a 30th birthday celebration.

I am so grateful for his support, even when it takes away what rightfully should have been a night all about him.

(I did try make it up to him with a surprise trip to Vegas, hockey tickets and a nice homemade meal. So I can't be all bad?)

This all ties back to how the hell you balance your life. Did I make the right choice about spending his birthday as we did? I don't know. But I married for love, and the decision was a little easier that way.

Dinner with love

I get to see my father and step-mother about 3 or 4 times a year. They work outside the country, working on contracts 6 months at a time. And while they were home we scored a dinner with them, and I so treasure that time!

They are home for a quick stop before heading to their vacation home in Hawaii (ahh the life they lead, I am jealous). They came over for dinner and I can't help but wish they were around so much more.

I am generally the black sheep of my family. Except with them. I like feeling normal, I won't lie. And with them, I do.

Tonight we had a great meal with good wine - they are amateur foodies like us. I was glad to be able to cook for them (and have them appreciate what went into said meal and appreciate the wine) and laugh and tell stories. I know it will be another 3 or 4 months before we can do that again.

I even got to vent about being the black sheep and share the strange family stories they missed out on while they were gone.

My dad makes me feel normal. I am not the crazy one, dammit!

Ode to the Sucky Inny Thing

Maybe we don't know each other well enough yet, maybe this might turn you away from our budding friendship. But I am pledging my love to the sucky-inny-thing. That nude body wrap that sucks in all and makes ladies like myself just slightly less rolly polly.

I love them so much I haven't worn much else for 3 years - much to my husband's dismay.

I once read a line in a fluffy novel about how putting one on made the lead lumpy heroine feel like a "slug in straw". My bff and I laughed and laughed as we knew that feeling. I have shoved myself into said straw everyday for the last 3 years that I now feel oddly free and loose if I don't have one on.

For you men who happened upon this post accidentally, I apologize.

And for the women who don't have extra layers they need to strap in, let me let know know what we larger ladies do to feel a little more streamlined in our clothes. It is like trying to squeeze into a wet suit pair of panties that go right up and over your extra tummy bits and right up under your boobs. And it is nude...it is not even a colour. But things are snug and I know I stand a little taller for being a little less wide.

I love these things, I have maybe 8 or 9 different pairs and styles. The hubby, I am sure, can't stand them, it makes it difficult to get to the fun parts for him, but I wouldn't trade them in for anything.

Who needs sexy panties, when I can have a nude tube of cloth sucking me in? And besides, I can always have sexy shoes!

The Start

Where does one start their blog? Do I bust out something funny and ironic right off the bat and then have to continuously live up to that level? Or should I just lay out who I am and hope that my bio will be enough to bring you back to check in again?

I think about other beginnings: LOST has the opening eye, the bible has the whole Genesis thing and "Happy Birthday" starts with "happy". (That is probably the first and last time I will make a biblical reference as that exhausted my knowledge of it). But these 3 are all good hooks, but not really my style.

So. Maybe I should just stick with what I know...me.

My name is Shan. I am a married twenty-something. My husband (who doesn't want to be named on here, but I have yet to think of something interesting to call him) and I have been married for almost 4 years. We have no children, not for lack of trying. And we have 2 crazy dogs - Tucker and Marla.

I work outside the home in the not-for-profit sector. I range between loving my job and loathing it depending on the particular work at hand. Is that so different than most working people in the world? I should clarify that my loathing is for working in general, not for my actual job! I am however, extra lucky because I get to work with my best friend of 10 years, which helps (she too will need a name, I am not sure if she wants me to use her name).

I am a know-it-all by nature. I still remember my grade 6 basketball coach getting mad at one of my know-it-all moments and throwing a basketball at my head yelling "You DO NOT know everything!" I don't think it has sunk in yet. I guess with this trait also come the bossy trait (I am the oldest of 3 kids, it isn't my fault). I do a lot of apologizing in my life for being a bossy boots. I just like barking orders. Others do not like it so much.

I have a kooky, interesting and sometimes tragically odd family. Lots of fodder there. I also foresee many apologies.

I, like so many other women, try to balance a career, a marriage, constant trying for children and trying to find myself somewhere in all of that. Everyday I feel like it could go careening off the edge or smash into a brick wall, but I keep steaming along.

I come with many quirks and issues. I dislike noise. I constantly struggle with and lose the battle with my weight. I get annoyed when people don't say "Bless you" when I sneeze, although I am not superstitious or religious. I would rather sleep than do anything else in the world.

But that is about it for now. Here we go.